Long time since I have updated this, I havnt really felt too compelled to put the emotions of my life on the internet lately. However tonight I need a good spill of emotions and I dont really know of many people that want to listen to me right now. It seems to me that I have a problem of having good intentions but always falling short. I think sometimes people dont realize how much I actually care about them, and thus maybe I do not show it as much as I could, but its hard to with little feedback.

I have reallized that all teenagers go through a phase where they state that they need alone time so they can figure out who they are. But in reality how much sense does that make, figure out who you are? Everyone truely knows who they are, what they want, and what they need. However people use this as a coverup, maybe what everyone needs is time to not to figure out who you are, but to figure out how your going to show the people in your life who you really are. Its a timegiver, that allows us to figure out what secrets and desires we should let public, while keeping things that we are too skeptical about to ourselves in fear of others opinions. These are the things we care most about, but to show them might change people opinions, but where is the importance in opinions if it brings someone closer to relate to the real persone who you are?

Life seems to some people as a social gathering, in which people evolve into fake personalities to please others. Maybe this is the downfall to society right now. We all have a fixed imagtionation about the proper person, but this only sets us into a cycle of contiuation that remains conservative to new ideas. The first time we see something new its never to our liking, but its human nature, however over time it will revolve into something pleasing. To date, I have never liked a song the first time I have heard it, mostly because I dont know the words and cant really relate to the artist, but once it becomes familiar then my emotions change. This is the same on a bigger concept, maybe new ideas just need to be constantly repeated and fought for so they can break out of the conservative mind thought, but how will this be acomplished if we are in a constant cycle of fake utopia?

I quit my job at the YMCA, so I currently have a lot of free time if anyone is interesting in catching up. It seems like summer has kind of broken my contact with a lot of people, which truely sucks. However, school starts soon and I am excited about Senior year, it should be interesting, but lately I have come to a huge realization. Two of my closest friends just enrolled in the Marines, they ship out the day after graduation night, not returning till well after I have left for college. I have one more year with the people I care about, until its time to start the next chapter in my life. Interesting?

So life has been kickin ass since I last updated...

-The Bonfire at my house- It was pretty cool, kind of crazy, tons of people, and I will definatly throw another one in a little while, but I am going to wait until it gets warm so we can take advantage of the Mud Pit in my back yard; haha funny story how i got the mud pit... So Anson and I are in my back yard getting ready for the bon fire when we decide we need girls mudwrestling to make it kick ass, so we start digging a small maybe 4 or 5 inch deep pit to wrestle in, when this random old dude pulls up in a Kia, and let me remind you I am kinda back in my yard semi in the woods, and he is like so yall need any help... and were like sure, so he leaves and we are thinking he is going to come back with a shovel or something, but instead like 15 minutes later we hear this load noise and see my neighbor driving a big ass tractor, i am not talking about a small bobcat this was some skyscrapper building thing, through my yard. So he ask me what I want, and i emphasis a "small like pit thing for people to mud wrestle in." Long story short, like 20 mins later I have this huge 10ft wide like 3 to 4 feet deep hole in my back yard with a huge pile of dirt right next to it and he takes off tearing up all my grass in my yard as he drives off. Well lets just say we had three hours to get the hole filled and the grass back... hmm didnt turn out too good.

-Smooth Friday- was freaking awesome; All black with a pink tie officially owns all to the genius Chase for coming up with that shit. You know your smooth when you walk into school wearing all black and a pink tie and your Principal is like, wow yall look really suave, I like yalls sense of style. < Its going to be big!

Other then that nothing too much is going on...

On another note, if I get a 30 on my ACT I will officially streak through the halls of Pelham High School, ok probably not, well maybe I dunno the way life had been going I cant say but either way if I get a 30 I would seriously cry out of happiness and then die.

Whats becoming of music these days? Its kinda sad when one of the top songs in the nation is, "Hit that bith with a bottle" I mean come on... I fifth grader on crack could come up with better lyrics then that, but whats even sadder is, once you listen to the song, its stuck in your head and you make a fool out of yourself bc you will be walking down the hallway and randomly blurt out, "Hit that bitch with a bottle!" and everyone turns around and be like wtf?

In my opinion everyone should just listen to Bob Marley and I guarantee everyone will be much happier.

So here I am, I cracked... I wasnt going to update again until next year or until I got some pictures to post on here, but what can you do...I need to update

So tonight offically owned in regards to the damn best prank i have ever seen pulled on me by
my friends....

      It all starts as me, Anson, Austin, Alex, Jimmy, Devin, Tyler decide that we are going to have a bottlerocket war down on opposite ends of Crybaby Bridge off 280... So we go down there and seperate into teams and pull off some crazy ass civil war shit as we have a full out war with bottle rockets exploding everywhere, and it was load as shit. So we are down there and we start to hear cop sirens, and we are like crap, because Crybaby is right near a ton of houses so we figure someone called the cops on us, so we jump in are cars and race off. Well me and everyone in my car get to Homedepot and figure out that we had lost austin and everybody, so we stop there and talk for a second and call Austin to see where they are at, and Austin picks up and is like "Cant talk now" and hangs up, then we call him back in a second and he is like, "Damn dude the cop stopped us and made us go appologize to the owners of the house and then he wrote me a ticket for tresspassing and distruping the peace, and the cops are looking for your car so you better get out of here" so i am like damn i am out, so i drive to 119 where we decide to all met up back... So me Jimmy Alex and Tyler are all in my car waiting to met up with them and we see Austins car and then no shit whats behind them is a freaking cop car... and I am thinking please turn off please turn off, but just my luck he pulls right in Taco Bell right behind my car so I couldnt pull out... and i am just thinking Fuck...and I am pissed at Austin for leading him to me, so i get out, and talk to the cop and now i am really freaking scared bc Austin had just informed me that his tickets were for 500 dollars, so i am thinking i am screwed. The cop is talking to me and looking at my licience and is asking me all these questions like what i did, and why i ran so fast, and where i live... so i am just trying to manage my way out of the ticket, when he is like... "So are you mad... and i am like hmmm why?... and he says, bc you just got owned by your friends", and i look around and everyone starts laughing... and i am just thinking Fuck you guys... but i have to omit that was the best prank ever... and seriously owned most anything! props to yall...
   
But dont get me wrong, give me a couple months so they can forget about it, and I am getting every single one of them, they better be prepared for some beds on their roofs, car on cement block shit, because its on!

So that was very long, but oh well, mad props to yall that read that, johns party and metting up with Nicole and her friends afterwards was very cool too! I have had fun hanging out with some new people lately so thats been good!

And anyone that I havnt hung out with recently or have never hung out with and wants too, hit me up 370-7346, I love hanging out with new people!

Last Note: Who Wants to be my New Years Eve kiss? Seriously, I need one...

I want a girl.

• I want someone to spend time with.
• I want someone to listen to me and for me the listen to her.
• I want someone that likes me for who I am and not care what people think of me.
• I want someone that means so much to me that she makes me cry.
• I want someone to call mine.
• I want someone to watch movies with and just spend an entire night together just joking around.
• I want someone that I would do anything for, a girl that I can not help but smile when I hear her name.
• I want someone that simple things make me think of her.
• I want someone that will do all this and much more unbelievable things

I am going to stop looking and just have fun with my freinds until she comes to me.

mood: depressed

so i have realized a lot since i last updated my journal... i am so tired of my life, i mean a lot of stuff is going ok for me but more then less i always find myself depressed... i bottle up my emotions and even my best friends dont know how i really feel and a lot of people at pelham are not helping

if you have a problem with me then thats cool, i dont expect everyone to like me nor do i care if you do or not, but most of yall i havnt done shit to or have ever talked to, and i dont have a problem with you so i dont see why you hate me so much but you know what thats cool, i know how life is so i dont give a shit if you dont like me, but if i havnt done anything to you nor have i ever talked to you then why do you waste your time talking shit about me? i am kinda confused about that, but i dont want to fight anyone nor am i going to thats not me, but why dont you just leave me alone.... and yea if your talking shit about me because of Brandon then i am fucking tired of it, yall are making fun of me because i am pressing charges, well why dont you take time and realize the truth before you say shit, the only reason i am pressing charges is there is a fucking $2,000 medical bill and my mom doesnt have money to pay for that and the only way the insurance company will pay for it is if we press charges... well i hope yall r proud of yourselves bc your basically making fun of me becuase i am not as blessed as yall with money, so i appologize to you if my not being wealthy pisses you off, i cant help it so please fucking leave me alone

i drawing closer and closer to oak mountain every day... i cant wait until i can start over, it seems like i made one mistake that i would take back with anything has fucking ruined my life, i am sorry i am not perfect, cant wait until college i am getting out of alabama as soon as i can, i want to met people with open minds to anything and anybody, people that it doesnt matter what you wear or who you hang out with that they still like you because your a good person or you have a great personality

on other news, one of the people at the game that was chanting shit, i heard that one of their parentrs lost their job and i know they have three kids and that was their only source of income... well i want everyone to pray for them with me, i know that must be hard and wish them the best even though they dont like me no one deserves to go through that and they will be in my prayers 

"you will miss them when they go to college"< you dont know how true that is, just the absence of them around the house makes me miss him even though i never captalized on the time he was here living with us

one last thing, Kerry is an inconserderate bitch... how can anyone single out a young girls personal information on national tv just to prove his point, well personally i would rather have morals not to do that then be ellected president of the united states

one light
one mind
flashing in the dark
blinded by the silence of a 1,000 broken hearts
for crying out loud
she screamed unto me
a free for all fuck them all
you are your own sight

'cause I wanna be the minority
I don't need your authority
down with the moral majority
'cause I wanna be the minority -

                         GreenDay- Minority

wow, a lot has happened since the last time I updated this thing, but mostly I have discovered a little bit more about life... never thought someone could be so humane but there are always those exeptions in life, but overall I still feel like everyone has good intentions, but maybe I am just naive to the realization of human kind, but why not be optimistic and try to get people to change.... < I think everyone knows what thats about and if you dont you must not go to Pelham but thats all cool.... hint: fight

Other things on my mind:

1) The Girl Next Door = best movie ever and it so totally makes me want to date a girl with a convertable bug

2) Everyone should vote for Shawn and Anson for president and vice-president, I feel strongly about this for numurous reasons not to be discussed in detail

3) If I happen not to pick up my cell, 370-7346, its not because i dont wanna talk to you, but probably because I would rather listen to my new awesome ringtone, The Hustle, and then call you back later after my listening enjoyment

4) God am I tired of all this high school drama shit, if your a friend of Brandon Peacocks and you come up to me telling me your going to kick my ass... i swear i am going to go phyco... I dont want to fight anyone its not worth it now nor was it worth it in the first place, people just need to let it die out

5) I think I want to go to Vandy or Duke, however I need to improve my grades to do so.... but UAB medical is cool too

6)Everyone time I get my hopes up I get shot down, but everytime I get close I feel like stepping in the other direction.....breaking my back just to know you name

11th grade? huh, halfway through highschool and thats not even cool. Only two more years with the people that I have grown up with and I defintaly dont wanna miss out on anything... I see all these movies about how great highschool and I mean this school year has definatly been far from great but its the fact that when I wake up I am going to go somewhere where I see familair faces that I am scared of losing when I go to college. On the first day of school this year I was just like yea whatever another year of Pelham life, but I saw how much my brother missed going, and I understand why, its the small things at Pelham that I am going to miss when I graduate.

Well I havnt really been myself lately, I constantly find myself depressed about things when everything in life seems to be going great for me. I mean at school and when I am around my friends I am great and I have fun but its something everytime I go home I seem to get depressed, it feels like I am missing something. I need a girl. One that I cant get out of my head and makes me want to go out of my way just to make her smile.

<Eric leaves Friday to go to Vanderbilt, I am going to miss him so much, even though me and him arnt as close as I wish we were its just the pysical presense of him that I am going to miss, I mean for 16 years I have taken for granted the fact that he is going to be right down the hallway but now that hallway is going to expand 200 miles... but he is always going to be a phone call away... and Eric if you ever read this I love you.< not always going to show it but your my brother thats enough said!

And to all my friends, I love you, thanks for being there for me...great memories and many great times to come. Samanatha thanks a lot, you have helped me so much!

Why do I have a thing for girls with a surf board?!

I miss the YMCA and Broadcast... school doesnt seem the same without first period with broadcast and a barely see most of my closest friends at school... damn smart classes with smart people! lol its all cool though

I am going to go ahead and apologize for the ranting...

OK, so lately it seems like the whole world is going against me, I mean yea nothing too bad has happened but its the small things in life that make the difference to me. I am so stressed about everything lately and I have no reason to be, I do not even know what is the next move I should make bc it seems like everything I do someone gets mad. Well note to everyone I am not perfect, never will be, and never intend to be. I just for once want everything in life to sorta click but some piece of the puzzle never fits. I wish I could just get on the interstate and just drive, not wanting to stop anywhere familair but see new places and get to know new people. I serioulsy doubt anyone of you truely know what this is about and I want it to stay that way, some of my feelings I want to keep to me....but I do LOVE my new car! I really apperciate my dad getting it for me after the wreck!<  Not to be materialistic or anything but my car made my week/month/year!

Other news, a blocked caller just called my house at what 3 a.m. in the morning, so if this happens to be you, then thats not cool at all and what were you thinking? I mean seriously, you must be stupid...

Sorry i havnt updated in a little while... i have been kinda busy ever since school has been out! Well so far summer has been great! but the next week is going to suck real bad, all my relatives are coming down from Kentucky so i dont think my mom is going to let me out of the house but i am going to beg her... so there might be a slight possibility!

I cant wait until my birthday... the wait even goes by slower once you actually have your car sitting out in the driveway just staring at you... god its going to be the longest 20 days!

Well i love my job at the Y, its really cool working up there and everyone up there is real nice, the only problem is that i cant put to many hours in before i can drive bc no ride lol!

Well so far i have had so much fun hanging out with everyone, haha already this summer has had a lot of good memories... haha, hopefully the rest of the summer will be this great!

And my brother graduated the other day and probably gave one of teh best speeches i have ever heard...i am proud of him!

mood: optimistic music: Dexter Freebish- prozak

I got my new cell phone... same good old wholesome number <370-7346> once again hit it up with the phone calls and still leave your numbers so i can add yall....

this weekend has seriously been the best weekend of my life well maybe not my life but the best weekend i have had in a very long time and i really needed it too just to get a break from the rutine life of Pelham High School.... gez i cant wait until summer but then agian i can because i probably wont see half of my friends agian until August but who knows i will have my car so just call if you want to hang....

This upcoming weekend it going to be kinda weird but notherless interesting at the least... i opened my pool today so it will be ready for this weekend so if anyone wants to come over and swim just call... i start my job this weekend too, kinda nervous about that but who knows if i get fired i can always just be a snack boy at Greystone.... 

I have had so much on my mind lately, i think i analize too much but oh well its all good...  there is this one thing i have been thinking about a lot but i dont feel like talking about it right now so you gotta wait to hear... curiosity grows.....

off to bed... better entry later....

"I wanna be that guy that gets the girl and saves the world and everyone would wanna be like me...." <how true is that

today/night was so crazy... me and a bunch of my friends went up to the crawlfish boil and let me just say this... today ranks up in the top 3 best days of my life....

highlights

1)anson getting killed in the middle of a mosh with a bunch of big punk guys

2)moshing and crowd surfing all freakin day

3)our stupid iron on shirts that we made just to wear to the crawlfish boil, and if you begme i might just wear it to scholl tuesday or whats left of it lol

4) oh screw it, today was just awesome all highlights

worst part about today was crowd surfing to Trapt-headstrong and then suddenly reaching a part wear no one was and getting dropped on gravel rocks

Well actually the worst part was losing my cell phone while crowd surfing... so now i am without a phone for a while and this means i dont have anyones number anymore when i do get my new phone, so it will be much appreciated if you leave you number so i can add it to my new phone that i am prbably getting tomorrow or maybe monday!  hey sry if dont pick up my phone when you call its bc i dont have it anymore, thats why i couldnt call you back elizabeth sry!